As Mother’s Day approaches, I stop to reflect on the impact a mother has on our lives. When a young pregnant woman visits our clinic, she often voices her most dreaded task is telling her own mother. Young women look up through tears and, with such sweet innocence, plead for the words to explain their situation to a mother they love and don’t want to hurt. This article is designed to provide practical advice, gentle encouragement, and strength from one woman and mother to those who may need to say, “Mom, I’m pregnant.”
I am a mother of a young adult daughter and I have dreams and hopes for her future. I want her to be physically and mentally healthy. I want her to make the best life choices in the present that will provide the best future for her. However, I realize she has a mind of her own, will make mistakes along the way, and get in predicaments she would rather not face alone. Above all else, I will have her back in life! Of the three options available to women today in an unexpected pregnancy, none are easy.
I know, from years of working with women, the decisions we make today will shape our future. Guilt and regret from decisions made in our youth have the ability to cripple our futures. The momentary uncomfortable minutes leading up to sitting down and telling your mother about your pregnancy pales in comparison to the heartache and pain women speak of after they have made a decision to keep the whole thing a secret.
So on to providing a list of practical steps for discussing your positive pregnancy results with your mother:
1. Be Brave!
2. Remember, your mother loves you and will have your back! I realize there are mothers out there who may not be capable or choose not to support their daughters in the way I am describing. I am sorry if this is you. There are others who have been in your shoes and can help you consider your options and discuss your resources. Help is here.
3. Think about the timing of discussing your news. You need to find a quiet time and place where you will not be interrupted. However, tell her and the sooner the better.
4. She may be upset, disappointed, hurt, and even mad. These are common responses to unexpected news. Regardless of what the news is, we all need time to adjust to news we didn’t see coming.
5. Tell her you need her help and understanding. Tell her you know she may be shocked, disappointed, or even mad. Give her time to absorb your news.
6. Make an appointment with Women’s Care Center to confirm your pregnancy, get a limited confirmation ultrasound, and talk to someone about what you are thinking for your pregnancy. Learn the challenges and risks with all options. Knowledge is power!